It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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