I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
