Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
