If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
