See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
