did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
