Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you didnt know i had herpes?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
