Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
