I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I could fuck to npr.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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