she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
