well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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