She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
