I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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