High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
