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Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
