Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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