Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
