Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
