so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize