Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
