last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
