When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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