READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize