Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
