wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
