Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
