You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
