My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
