k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
