dude i'm inner monologue high
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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