Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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