why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize