Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
