Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
