hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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