I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
