Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
