Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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