I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
