Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
