Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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