The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize