He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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