bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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