She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My feet surprised me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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