I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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