So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
