My room smells like vodka and shame
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
