i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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