New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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