I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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