Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
