don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
