so that wasnt chicken after all
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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