i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize