i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
