genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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