Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
