Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
