could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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