well you can't waste a boner
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
