I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
