also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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