In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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