Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
