if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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